


Second Chances

by orphan_account



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-10-09
Updated: 2000-10-09
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: CJ and Toby deal with her second pregnancy.





	1. Second Chances

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Disclaimers: The West Wing and it’s characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this.

Rating: PG-13(although I'm certain some parts will be PG)

Summary: Sequel to I Know Why the River Runs. CJ and Toby deal with her second pregnancy.

Author's Note. : I would like to thank AJ, cherryice, and DaniBeth for beta reading this. Especially, AJ and DaniBeth who have knowingly and unknowingly give me clues as to where to take this.

Song disclaimer for Part 1: The song "You Will Always Be Mine" is the property of Collin Raye and Epic Records .No copyright infringement is intended.

 

Toby woke up in the early morning hours. He glanced over at CJ, who was still peacefully sleeping. He guessed he was still in some form of shock over what she had told him earlier. Her pregnancy had surprised him more than anything else ever had. He moved until her head was resting on his shoulder. He begun to very gently stroke her hair.

"I see you are awake." CJ said softly a few minutes later.

"I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you."

"Yes you did, or you wouldn’t have done it."

"CJ!"

"I was kidding." CJ said.

"I know that."

"You can’t get used to it can you?"

"Get used to what?"

"My pregnancy." CJ answered.

"As usual you are correct."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"CJ it’s three thirty in the morning!"

"Yes and we both are awake."

"But I was thinking..." Toby said.

"I should go back to sleep." CJ finished.

"I was thinking that would be advantageous." Toby said.

"You’re very easy for me to read."

"I am?"

"Yes, when I’m pregnant you think I should be resting twenty-four hours a day. And if I slept during the entire twenty-four hours I don’t think you would complain."

"You’re probably right." Toby said.

"Probably?"

"Okay, you are."

"Thank you."

"You’re welcome. Was it surprising to you?"

"When I first found out I’m pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"It was a little surprising. I had know for a couple of weeks that it was possible that I was pregnant."

"I guess you’ve had more time to adjust to the idea."

"Yeah I have. You still can’t believe it can you?"

"No, I can’t. I keep wondering if I dreamed it."

"You didn’t dream it." CJ said

"That’s good. You’re what, eight weeks along?"

"Yes, I am." CJ said and snuggled a little closer to him.

"You’re getting sleepy aren’t you?"

"Yeah and don’t even say it." CJ said.

"Okay, I won’t." Toby laughed. He kissed the top of her head and placed his hand against her stomach. He smiled to himself when he felt CJ place her hand in his. He kissed the top of her head again and they both went back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How are you feeling?" Toby asked CJ the next afternoon.

"I’m fine."

"You’re certain?" Toby asked sitting down beside her on the couch.

"Yes." CJ laughed.

"Okay."

"So, what’s on your mind?"

"Our anniversary."

"Which passed while you were in Israel?"

"Yes, we really didn’t get to celebrate."

"That’s true."

"I know we talked and I told you where your present was." He said fingering the bracelet on her wrist. "And when I came home, you gave me the best present anyone has ever given me. But I want to spend some time alone with you."

"What did you have in mind."

"I thought we could go away for the weekend."

"Just you and I, or you, I and Meghan?" CJ asked.

"Just you and I." Toby answered.

"I like that idea, but who is going to watch Meghan?"

"We could always ask her godparents."

"That’s true." CJ replied. "Okay, where are we going?"

"I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of that."

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You still haven’t told me where we are going?" CJ said after they had left Meghan with the Bartlet’s for the weekend.

"You’re right. I haven’t. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I’m still not going to."

"You’re not?"

"No, I’ll tell you when we get there."

"And how long will that take?" CJ asked.

"About five hours." Toby replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of hours later, Toby glanced over at CJ, and found that she was asleep. She often fell asleep in the car during a long trip. When they had talked the other night, she had said that in time he would get used to the pregnancy. He was finding that she had been right. Everyday, it became more real to him. He had spent a lot of time watching her without her knowledge, at least he hoped she hadn’t noticed it. She did seem to be feeling better than she had when she was pregnant before, and that set his mind at ease.

"You said it would take five hours." CJ said as she woke up.

"Yes."

"And why aren’t we there yet?"

"It’s only been three hours."

"It’s only been three hours? Why does it seem to me that it has been much longer?"

"Probably because you have been asleep for the last two hours."

"I have?"

"Yeah you have been."

"That’s strange."

"Why is it strange?"

"I usually don’t sleep that much."

"You do when you are pregnant. You did the same thing with Meghan."

"Yeah I guess I did."

"You did. How are you feeling?"

"I’m fine."

"The drive isn’t bothering you?"

"No, it’s not. Why do you ask?"

"I was just worried about you."

"Okay, I think I’ll go back to sleep."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of hours later, Toby pulled the car into their destination. He reached over and unlatched CJ’s seat belt and woke her up.

"CJ." Toby said gently touching her face.

"Yeah." CJ said sleepily

"We’re here."

"And here would be?"

"The Greenbrier Resort." Toby answered.

"Wait isn’t this the place where..."

"The bomb shelter for Congress was set up during the Cold War." Toby finished.

"Yeah."

"It’s also a very exclusive resort, and a place where I thought we could get away from it all for a few days."

"And what did you have in mind for these few days?"

"How about a second honeymoon?"

"That sounds like a good idea." CJ laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby smiled to himself as he watched CJ looking at the scenery outside the window. He walked up behind her, and placed his hands on her side.

"It’s very beautiful out there." CJ whispered.

"Yes it is."

"Thank you." CJ said turning and kissing him.

"For what?"

"Bringing me here."

"I thought we both needed some time away. The last two months have been hard on both of us. I thought it would be nice for both of us to have some time alone together."

"I’m glad you did." CJ said. "I love you very much."

"I know that." Toby said turning CJ until she was facing him. "I love you too." He said and then kissed her gently. He then led her away from the window, towards the center of the room. There was a remote on the table and he picked it up.

"You’re wanting to dance with me." CJ laughed.

"Yes, I do, Mrs. Ziegler." Toby said. "Have I told you how much I love you." He said as the music started to play.

I love the way you move  
Like moonlight on the sea  
The way your body calls me  
Like a secret melody  
The way you start a fire  
When you look into my eyes  
Until I’m satisfied

There are moments when I love you  
Beyond the limits of my human heart  
I want to hold you, take care of you  
The way the angels watch over the stars  
Past the pull of earth  
Across the deep blue sky  
Through the universe  
Beyond the reach of time  
You will always be mine

I don’t know how you know exactly what I need  
I don’t know how you found the man I wanna be  
I don’t know how your sweet tears make me see clear  
again  
I don’t know how you know  
I don’t know how you go  
Everywhere I've been

There are moments when I love you  
Beyond the limits of my human heart  
I want to hold you, take care of you  
The way the angels watch over the stars  
Past the pull of earth  
Across the deep blue sky  
Through the universe  
Beyond the reach of time  
You will always be mine

The way you start a fire  
When you look into my eyes  
Past the pull of earth  
Across the deep blue sky  
Through the universe  
You will always be mine  
You will always be mine.

By the time the song finished CJ’s head was laying on Toby’s shoulder. Toby gently ran his fingers through her hair. "Have I told you how much I love you?" CJ whispered repeating Toby’s earlier words.

"Yes." Toby answered and kissed her passionately.

"Good." CJ replied and kissed him back.

to be continued....

  

  


	2. Second Chances 2

See part 1 for disclaimer

They spent the entire weekend in West Virginia. CJ was even able to persuade Toby to take her on a picnic in the mountains. It was a beautiful day and they hiked a little way up the mountain until they found the perfect spot.

"I could have carried some of that stuff." CJ said as Toby sat down the picnic basket.

"No you couldn’t have." He replied.

"And why not?"

"Because I didn’t want you to."

"Okay." CJ said and took the blanket away from him. She spread it on the ground and then sat down on it.

"I was going to do that." Toby said and sat down on the blanket beside her.

"You were taking too long." CJ laughed.

"Really?"

"Yes, now what’s in that basket?" CJ asked.

"I don’t know if I should tell you." Toby teased.

"And why not?" CJ said trying to reach around Toby and open the picnic basket.

"Oh, no you don’t." Toby said gently pulling CJ away from the basket. He moved until he was holding her.

"There are a couple of things you should keep in mind." CJ said.

"And those would be?" Toby asked.

"Number one I am pregnant." CJ said.

"Yes, I know that." Toby said lightly touching his hand to her stomach.

"Number two, because of the aforementioned pregnancy, I am hungry."

"Okay, and number three would be?"

"It is probably not wise for you to stand between me and food."

"I’m not standing between you and food, I’m sitting between you and food."

"Toby!!"

"You know all you have to do is ask." Toby said.

"Okay, would you *please* show what is in the basket?" CJ asked sweetly.

Toby opened the basket up and took the contents out. There was cold chicken, pasta salad, chocolate mousse, and several bottles of water.

"Is this okay?" Toby asked.

"Yeah, it definitely has my approval." CJ said reaching for a plate to put her food on.

They ate mostly in silence. After they had finished, Toby put the plates back into the basket and closed it. Toby then slipped his arms around CJ and pulled her against him.

"It’s very peaceful here." CJ remarked.

"Yeah it is."

"It’s a relief to be someplace this peaceful."

"Yeah, it is. Since the last two months have been so hectic."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Jerusalem and the hijacking?"

"Yeah, I guess so. If you are certain you want to hear it?" Toby asked.

"Nothing could be as bad as what I imagined during that time."

"Okay. I don’t really know where to begin." Toby said. "It was strange I felt like I became close to my father again in those last few weeks. He actually understood everything I had done. Of course, it was because of you that I had really been communicating with him the last couple of years."

"You would have done that anyway." CJ said.

"Maybe. It was hard to watch my father get sicker and sicker. When the end finally came it was a blessing really. Then I came home."

"You know I listened to that message you left on the answering machine over and over again."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because more than anything I needed to hear your voice. I needed that to hold on to. To give me strength to get through it I guess."

Toby tightened his arms around her as she spoke. CJ laid her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment. When Toby spoke again she opened them. "Thinking of you and Meghan was what got me through the hijacking."

"How quickly did you know something was going on?" CJ asked.

"When I saw someone walk by carrying an AK-47."

"That would tell you wouldn’t it?’

"Yeah. Then they forced all of the American and Israeli passengers into the coach section. There was an elderly lady who was sitting beside of me. I ended up talking to her a lot. After awhile they took our passports. Then I guess from the passport or from CNN they figured out who I was."

"That was when you called the President?"

"Yeah. What were you doing in the Oval Office anyway?"

"I wanted to know what was going on. The President asked me if I wanted to stay in there. I told him I did. I couldn’t even tell you what you said. I blocked everything out except for the sound of your voice."

"And then when you heard me say I was all right."

"I could help but say something. They took the phone away from you then didn’t they?"

"Yeah, I was so shocked to hear your voice. I wasn’t expecting you to be in the Oval."

"Josh took me home shortly after that. He stayed with me that night."

"Did you know what was planned?"

"No, I don’t think anyone knew."

"I noticed them coming towards the plane."

"Then after it was over you called me."

"Yeah, then you told me we are going to have another baby."

"Yeah." CJ said.

"I wonder if I’ll ever be able to convince you that I’m happy about this pregnancy?"

"Why?"

"I just do. I know that’s the reason you didn’t tell me immediately. You were worried about my reaction." Toby placed his right hand on her stomach and with his left hand he turned her face until she was looking at him. "I want this baby very much."

"You do know that you have convinced me." CJ said softly. "I just don’t want you to worry so much about me."

"I’m always going to worry about you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late Sunday evening when they arrived back in Washington. CJ had slept most of the way home, and had not woken up until they were almost at the White House. Once they arrived there, they went to the residence to pick up Meghan.

When they came into the room, Abbey was sitting reading a book to Meghan. It took a couple of minutes for Meghan to notice her parents were in the room. When she did notice them she came running towards them. Toby bent and picked her up before she could make it to where CJ was.

"Did you miss us?" Toby asked as he picked her up.

"Yes." Meghan replied looking over his shoulder at CJ. "Mommy." She said reaching her hands out to CJ.

"Here let me take her for a minute." CJ said and Toby handed Meghan to CJ. "Hi sweetheart." CJ said and kissed her.

"Mommy, read?"

"Yes, I’ll read to you when we get home."

"We can’t thank you enough for watching her this weekend." Toby said to Abbey. "We hope she wasn’t any trouble."

"Toby, you and CJ both know she wasn’t." Abbey said.

"Thank you. It’s just we know she can be a handful when she wants to be." Toby said.

"Now, Daddy wouldn’t talk about you behind your back, would he?" CJ whispered to Meghan who laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After giving Meghan a bath that night, CJ sat down in the rocking chair to read to Meghan.

"Which book do you want?" CJ asked.

"I show." Meghan said getting down from CJ’s lap to get the book.

"Okay."

"This one." Meghan said picking out the book she wanted. She walked back over to the chair and waited for CJ to pick her up.

"Ooh, you’re getting big. Mommy’s not going to be able to pick you up for much longer. Okay this is the book you want me to read?"

"Yes."

"The whole book?"

"Yes."

"Okay." CJ said and started to read the book to Meghan.

As CJ was reading, Toby came and stood in the doorway. Meghan was too engrossed in the book to notice he was there. He watched as CJ answered all of Meghan’s questions about the illustrations in the book, and tried not to laugh as Meghan made up her own story to go with the illustrations. Finally, he noticed that Meghan had fallen asleep.

"I’ll put her to bed." Toby said quietly.

"I’ve got her." CJ said.

"No, let me do it. She’s really getting too heavy for you."

"Okay." CJ said and didn’t move as Toby picked Meghan up.

Toby gently placed Meghan in the bed and pulled the covers up over her. He then kissed her, and CJ did the same. They checked to see the night light was on, and left the room.

"So, she’s getting too heavy for me?" CJ said when they were back in the living room.

"In your condition yes."

"Okay, so what are we going to do about? She’s not going to understand why Mommy can’t pick her up anymore."

"We’ll tell her that since she’s become such a big girl, that she’s too big for you to pick up. She can still sit on your lap though. I’ll just have to pick her up and sit her there."

"Okay, that should work."

"What I’m really wondering is how we are going to explain this to her?" Toby said placing his hand on CJ’s stomach.

"Yeah me too." CJ said. "I guess just tell her that in seven months she’s going to have a little brother or sister."

"Yeah. You have an appointment on Tuesday, right?"

"Yes I do and we will get to see the baby for the first time."

"Okay."

  


	3. Second Chances 3

See part 1 for disclaimer

Good morning." Dr. Santos said as she stepped into the room. "Are both of you ready to see the baby for the first time?"

"Yes we are." CJ said taking Toby’s hand in hers.

"Okay then let’s get this started. Why don’t you turn the monitor until they can see." Dr. Santos said to the nurse in there with her. "And there is the baby. Everything looks just fine. I realize that you both know when the baby was conceived so there is no reason to try to figure that out. Okay, Claudia, how has the morning sickness been?"

"Some days are better than others." CJ answered.

"But you haven’t been dizzy again?" Dr. Santos asked.

"No." CJ answered.

"Hold on when were you dizzy?" Toby asked.

"The day your father died, and the day of the hijacking."

"Toby she hasn’t had anymore dizzy spells. She’s fine." Dr. Santos said.

"She and the baby both are fine?" Toby asked.

"Yes." Dr. Santos answered.

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Claudia Jean." Josh said from the door between their offices.

"Come in Josh." CJ said.

"So, how are you?"

"I’m fine."

"Good, I haven’t really had a chance to talk to you.  So I really wanted to see how you were."

"Okay."

"So, how’s Toby taking the news that he is going to be a father again?"

"Maybe you should ask him that."

"I would, but it’s unlikely that he would answer."

"That’s true. He’s taking it well."

"That’s good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby walked into CJ’s office a little while after Josh left.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I’m going to wish Dr. Santos hadn’t told you about the dizzy spells aren’t I?"

"You probably will. You didn’t answer my question."

"I’m fine." CJ said.

"You are certain?"

"Yes!" CJ laughed.

"Okay." Toby said sitting down on the side of her desk.

"So what else did you need?" CJ asked.

"I was wondering if you would like some lunch?"

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby stood in the doorway later that night watching CJ, who was sitting on the couch reading briefing memos. He knew she did not realize he was watching her. So he decided to walk in the room.

"How much more do you have to do?" He asked.

"Actually I just have to finish this one." CJ said.  
"Sit down here."

After she had finished reading the memos, CJ sat them down on the coffee table. She then leaned back against Toby.

"So how are you feeling tonight?"

"I’m a little tired." CJ said and laid her head on his shoulder.

"What about the nausea?"

"Just a little bit." CJ said moving in his arms to make herself more comfortable.

"Is that better?" Toby asked after CJ had gotten settled

"Yes." CJ laughed.

As she was sitting there in his arms, Toby gently ran his hands along her stomach.

"If you are getting ready to say that I’m gaining weight, I already know that." CJ laughed and covered his hands with hers.

"I was thinking that you are." Toby said.

"I noticed it a couple of days ago."

"You look very beautiful."

"You might just be a little biased." CJ laughed.

"I might be." Toby said and kissed her neck. After a moment CJ turned and kissed him.

  


	4. Second Chances 4

See part 1 for disclaimer.

"No you can’t go outside." CJ said to Meghan who was standing at the door to the balcony.

"Why?" Meghan asked.

"Because it’s too cold."

"It not too cold."

"Yes, it is sweetheart. Why don’t you come over here and play with your dolls and things?"

"Okay." Meghan said and climbed up on the couch beside CJ.

CJ sat on the couch watching Meghan play with the dolls. From where she was sitting CJ could look out the window, which overlooked the parking lot of the apartment complex. CJ saw Toby get out of the car. She debated on whether or not to tell Meghan that her daddy was home. She decided to wait until he came through the door to tell her. When Meghan heard the door open she looked over at CJ.

"Daddy home?"

"Yes." CJ answered as Meghan got up and went to the door.

When Toby came into the apartment, he picked Meghan up. "How’s my girl today?"

Meghan laughed and said. "Fine."

"Have you been giving Mommy a hard time?"

Meghan smiled and shook her head. "No."

"That’s good." Toby said and sat her down. Meghan then walked over to CJ and held her arms up for CJ to pick her up.

"No, Meghan. Mommy can’t pick you up." Toby said to Meghan.

"Why?" Meghan asked.

CJ glanced over at Toby and mouthed. "I guess this is as good a time as any to tell her."

Toby just shook his head and picked Meghan up. He sat down on the couch with her, and CJ sat down beside them.

"Are you going to start this or am I?" Toby asked.

"Oh, you are the one she asked." CJ said.

"Thanks." Toby said sarcastically. "Okay, the reason Mommy can’t pick you up is that you are getting to heavy for her to pick up."

"But I not too heavy for you?" Meghan asked.

"No, you’re not too heavy for me." Toby laughed.

"Why?"

"Mommy can’t pick up anything heavy." CJ replied.

"Why?" Meghan asked.

"She asked you this time." Toby laughed.

"I know." CJ mouthed to Toby. Then she answered Meghan’s question. "Well, in a few months you are going to have a brother or sister."

Meghan thought for a moment before answering. "Why?"

"Because Mommy and I thought it would be nice if you had a little brother or sister." Toby answered.

"Oh." Meghan said. "Where is my brother or sister? I don’t see."

"Right now your brother or sister is in Mommy’s stomach?"

"What?"

"Come here Meghan." CJ said and picked Meghan up and sat Meghan closer to her. "Your brother or sister is right here." CJ said and put Meghan’s hand against her stomach.

"I don’t feel it." Meghan said.

"I know you don’t." CJ laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, after putting Meghan to bed, Toby sat down next to CJ on their bed.

"Did you tell her I wasn’t feeling well?" CJ asked.

"Yeah, I told her that was the reason you didn’t come in and tell her goodnight."

"Okay."

"Are you still nauseous?"

"Just a little bit now. It’s not as bad as it was earlier." CJ said and sat up beside him.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Toby said as he started to rub her shoulders.

"No, but don’t stop what you are doing." CJ laughed.

"Okay. That went well today."

"Telling Meghan?"

"Yeah." Toby replied.

"It did. She didn’t ask us why as much as I was expecting her to."

"No, she didn’t." Toby laughed.

"We need to plan what we are going to do for her birthday."

"Yeah we do. Do you have any ideas?"

"No, not really." CJ replied.

"We’ll come up with something."

"Yeah." CJ said and laid her head against his shoulder.

"Tired?"

"Yeah."

"Go to sleep." Toby said and laid her against the pillows. He then got up and turned the lights out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby came up behind CJ and placed his hands on her sides. "I could do that for you." He said indicating the groceries she was putting up.

"That’s okay, I’m fine."

"Okay. You’re certain don’t need any help?"

"Yes!"

After CJ had finished putting the groceries up, she went to join Toby and Meghan in the living room.

"I ordered her birthday cake today." CJ whispered to Toby after she sat down.

"I wonder if she will actually eat it this year?" Toby said.

"You mean instead of playing with it, and making the biggest mess I have ever seen in my life?"

"Yeah."

"That’s what I thought. I think she will eat it this year."

"I guess we will have to wait and see." Toby said as Meghan walked over to them.

"Daddy?" Meghan said.

"What, sweetheart?" Toby said as he picked her up.

"You read?"


	5. Second Chances 5

Author's Note: This fic is unfinished as you can tell with the question mark for the final number of parts. I will continue sending it out, but I only have two and a half parts after this one. I will write the other parts when school allows me the time to, and I will send them ASAP.

See part 1 for disclaimer.

The song "Where Angels Fear to Thread" is the property of Bryan Adams and A&M records. No copyright infringement is intended.

Toby slipped an arm around CJ’s waist as they left Meghan’s bedroom, after putting her to bed.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing, nothing at all." Toby said as they walked into the living room.

"Okay, I don’t believe you, but okay."

"You don’t believe me. Why?"

"Because you have the same look in your eyes that you get when you are up to something."

"You are basing this on the look in my eyes?" Toby said as he sat down on the couch, and pulled CJ onto his lap.

"Yes I am, and I’m usually right. I know you too well."

"You know me too well?"

"Yes I do."

"Then what do I have planned?"

"See I always know when you have something planned, but I can never guess exactly what you have planned. So that was an unfair question."

"It was an unfair question?" Toby laughed.

"Yes, it was." CJ said just before Toby kissed her.

"Maybe I can give you a hint." Toby said after kissing her.

"That would be appreciated."

"Really. Hmm...how much would it be appreciated?"

"Toby!"

"All right. Do you remember what I did just after we found out you were pregnant with Meghan?"

CJ thought for a moment. "I seem to remember you taking me out for dinner. But since it is obvious that is not what you are planning..."

"What makes you think that?"

"To begin with we just put Meghan to bed."

"True, and it would be almost impossible to take you out on a surprise dinner."

"Yes it would."

"So, I decided we would have a romantic dinner here."

"Then why don't I smell any food?"

"Because I ordered out." Toby replied.

"And how did you do that without my knowledge?"

"I don’t think I’ll tell you that. I may want to do it again. And it should be arriving any moment now." Toby said as the doorbell rang.

"I should let you get up. Shouldn’t I?" CJ laughed as she got up.

A couple of minutes later, when Toby came into the dining room with the food, he found CJ lighting some candles he had placed on the table.

"You really should let me do that." Toby said as he sat the food down.

"It’s fine I can do it. So what did you order?"

"You’re quite impatient tonight." Toby remarked.

"Well as you know I am eating for two." CJ laughed

"Yes, I remember that. It’s Italian."

"And what exactly did you order?"

"Lasagna I thought we could share it."

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After they had eaten, Toby put the dishes they had used for dinner in the dishwasher.

"You could have let me help with that." CJ remarked as she stood in the kitchen and watched him.

"No, I couldn’t have." Toby laughed.

"And why would that be?"

"Because I’m trying to spoil you tonight, and that does not involve you putting the dishes in the dishwasher." Toby said as he finished.

"Okay, I guess that is a good reason." CJ said.

"So you are feeling well tonight?"

"Yes, can’t you tell?"

"I wanted to make certain."

"You are still up to something?"

"Yes." Toby said grinning at her.

"And you’re not going to tell me what?"

"No, I’m not going to tell you. But I’ll show you."

"You’ll show me?"

"Yes."

"Am I going to like this?"

"Oh, I think so." Toby said as he took her arm and led her into the living room.

"So what else do you have up your sleeve?"

"This." Toby said as he turned the stereo on. He then put his arms around CJ and they slowly begun to dance.

Well I’m wrapped around your finger I’m never letting go You know I’m happy just to linger And let the feeling flow

This must be an illusion I know this can’t be real But right here and right now This is paradise I feel

I never thought I’d find someone to move me Someone who could see right through me You found your way into my head Where even angels fear to tread

Don’t wanna go out walkin Don’t wanna take a drive Don’t wanna move from this sweet spot baby While this feelings still alive

The way we fit together It’s like we’re meant to be And right here and right now This is paradise to me.

I never thought I’d find someone to move me Someone who could see right through me You found your way into my head Where even angels fear to tread

"It never ceases to amaze me, how romantic you can be." CJ whispered.

"Really? Why?"

"Because it goes so much against your reputation."

"That would probably be because you are the only one I allow to see this side of me."

"I know that."

"I love you Claudia Jean."

"I love you too." CJ said as she lifted her head from Toby’s shoulder and kissed him.

to be continued...

  


	6. Second Chances 6

See part 1 for disclaimer.

 

"Good morning." Josh said from the door to CJ’s office.

"Good morning." CJ replied. "You know you can come in."

"Well you know that goes without saying." Josh said as he sat down on the couch.

"Yeah I guess it does." CJ laughed.

"I haven’t had a chance to talk to you in awhile. So how are you doing?"

"I’m fine Josh."

"You’re certain?"

"Yes I’m certain."

"Okay." Josh said as he got up to leave. Turning at the door, he said. "Hey do you know if you get to go on the trip to Boston yet?"

"Right now the doctors see no reason why I can’t."

"That’s good."

"If you say so."

"You don’t sound enthused?"

"Well, there is the fundraiser and everything. It’s just going to be a very tiring trip."

"Yeah."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ was so busy typing at her computer, that she did not hear Toby come into her office. He stood there watching her for a few moments.

"I guess you are not going to notice I’m here." He joked.

"No, I knew it. I was just wondering when you would make your presence known." CJ replied.

"Well I guess now you know."

"Yes, I do." CJ said as she got up. "What did you need?"

"I was just checking up on you."

"As you can see I’m fine." CJ laughed.

"Yes I can see that." Toby said looking at her.

"What?!" CJ asked noticing his stare.

"I can’t believe I didn’t notice this earlier this morning, but it’s starting to show."

"Yes, I know that, and I seem to remember you telling me I was gaining weight a couple of weeks ago."

"Yes I did. It’s just a little bit more noticeable now."

"Yeah. I know." CJ smiled as she placed her hand lightly on her stomach.

Toby put an arm around CJ and drew her closer to him. "So, I’m thinking," he said as he rested his forehead against hers, "this means I should be taking care of you."

"So you are saying that you are getting ready to pamper me and become much more overprotective than you are now?" CJ laughed.

"Yes I am. Do you have a problem with that?"

"First of all I know it wouldn’t matter to you if I did. Secondly you know I don’t have a problem with that. Thirdly, I love you."

"I thought I would start by having lunch with you." Toby said.

"So that is how you are going to take care of me?" CJ laughed.

"For starters."

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby walked up behind CJ as she was sitting on the couch in their living room reading memos. He ran his fingers through her hair, and smiled when she looked up at him.

"Why don’t you sit down with me. I think I’ll stop reading for the night." CJ said.

"That sounds like a good idea." Toby said and sat down beside her. Placing an arm around her shoulder, he drew her against him.

"So you are trying to take care of me again?" CJ laughed.

"Of course. So are you feeling all right?"

"Yes." CJ sighed.

"You’re not acting like it tonight."

"I guess I’m a little tired." CJ said as she snuggled her head against his shoulder.

"Maybe we should just go to bed then?"

"No, I want to stay out here for awhile."

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Then CJ moved a little bit.

"I’m sorry," Toby said after she moved, "I thought you were comfortable."

"It’s okay." CJ said and reached for his hand, which she placed against her stomach.

"What?" Toby asked as he gently moved his hand over her stomach.

"Just wait." CJ said.

"For what?"

"You’ll see." CJ said.

"Okay."

"That." CJ said as she felt the baby move.

"That’s the baby, isn’t it?" Toby asked.

"Yeah." CJ said softly.

"This isn’t the first time this has happened is it?"

"No, but today is the first day it has."

"When today?"

"When you were in my office, talking about the fact that the pregnancy was starting to show."

"Why didn’t you tell me then?"

"Because I was not certain if that was what it was."

"Okay." Toby said as he started to stroke her hair.

Sighing, CJ buried her head against his shoulder. "I love you." She whispered.

"Love you too." Toby whispered and kissed the top of her head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So how have you been?" Dr. Santos asked as she walked into the examination room.

"I’ve been well." CJ replied.

"That’s good. I see that Toby is not here with you today."

"No, he had a meeting that he couldn’t get out of."

"I guess that you want a print of the ultrasound to take back to him?" Dr. Santos asked.

"Yes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is he in his office?" CJ asked Ginger.

"No, but he should be soon. You could wait on him in there."

"Okay, thanks." CJ said and went into Toby's office.

About ten minutes later, Toby came into his office and found CJ sitting on the couch. He sat down beside her and took her hand in his.

"So, how did the doctor's appointment go?"

"It went well." CJ replied.

"That's good. So you don't have anything else to tell me or show me?"

"Like what?" CJ teased.

"You had an ultrasound today. I'm assuming you had the picture from that printed out."

"I did?"

"Yes."

"Really. Hmm...you know you should look on your desk. I believe Ginger told me that there was something on there that needed your immediate attention."

"Really, what is it?"

"I don't know." CJ said. "You should look and see."

"All right, but I'm not finished with this discussion."

"Okay." CJ smiled.

Toby picked up the envelope on his desk and opened it. After looking at the contents of it. He said. "Why did you put it in an envelope and lay it on my desk?"

"Because I didn't know if I would get to stay in here until you came back." CJ said.

"I see." Toby said sitting down beside her again. "So were you able to find out the sex of the baby today?"

"Yes." CJ laughed. "Would you like to know?"

"Yeah I would like to know that."

"Really, I don't know if I should tell you. Maybe I should just keep it to myself."

"CJ..."

As Toby was starting to speak, CJ took Toby's hand and laid it against her stomach. "Do you know where I have placed your hand?"

"Where?"

"Where your son is." CJ replied looking directly into Toby's eyes.

"Our son, Claudia Jean, our son." Toby said and then kissed her.

to be continued...

  


	7. Second Chances 7

See part 1 for disclaimer

 

"Well she had a nice birthday." Toby said after they had put Meghan to bed on her birthday.

"Yeah she did." CJ laughed. "And she ate the cake this year."

"Yes she did. It was much easier to clean up this year."

"All I'm wondering is how you would know it was easier to clean up this year. As I remember you cleaned Meghan up and I cleaned the kitchen up."

"Yes."

"And you were finished long before I was." CJ laughed.

"Yes, I was."

"Okay."

"Okay." Toby said.

They sat on the couch in silence for a few minutes.

"It looks like I will be going to Boston." CJ said.

"Yeah it does."

"And there is a fund raiser that night."

"Yes, there is. What are you trying to hint at?" Toby asked.

"Well, I need a dress."

"You do?"

"Yes, none of my evening gowns fit."

"So you need a dress."

"I was wondering if you would take me shopping tomorrow?"

"Why do you need me to take you?"

"You don't want to let me out of your sight, so I was thinking you would want to go with me."

"Yes, you are correct. I don't like to let you out of my sight. But shopping? CJ, you know I don't like to go grocery shopping, much less clothes shopping."

"Yes that's true, but I thought you could help me."

"You're not planning to give up on this are you?"

"No, I'm not." CJ laughed.

"Okay, I'll go with you." Toby said.

"Thank you." CJ said and kissed his check.

Toby slipped his arm around CJ's shoulders. "You are welcome. I'll live through it, I guess."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning." CJ murmured into Toby's ear the next morning.

"How long have you been awake?" Toby asked, pulling her against him.

"Not long." CJ said burying her face against his shoulder.

"I'm assuming that you still want to go shopping today?"

"Yes, I do but not yet. Is Meghan awake yet?"

"I checked on her about ten minutes ago she was still asleep."

"Okay. You know I really don't want to get up."

"You don't?"

"No, I'm just a little too comfortable right now."

"Then I guess we don't have to get up right now." Toby laughed and kissed the top of her head.

"That sounds good to me." CJ said and snuggled closer to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can already tell you exactly what you are going to do." Toby said as he was pushing Meghan's stroller through the mall later that day.

"And what am I going to do?" CJ asked.

"You are going to get the dress you saw in the first store."

"And what does it matter if I do?" CJ laughed.

"If you do then what was the point of looking through all these other stores."

"To aggravate you." CJ laughed. "No actually that is just a pleasant by product of looking in the other stores, the real reason is I might find something I like better."

"Yes you *might*."

"You know I really love shopping with you." CJ said as she walked into another store.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of hours later, Toby was standing outside a dressing room in the first store they had gone into. A few minutes later, CJ stepped out of the dressing room, wearing a purple dress with a matching wrap.

"So do you like it?" CJ asked spinning around.

"Yes. So are you planning on taking it?"

"I don't know."

"CJ!"

"Yes." CJ said sweetly.

"We have been in this mall for four hours. You need to rest, so would you please make up your mind and get a dress."

"Okay, I was planning to get this one anyway. And don't give me that look." CJ laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening after putting Meghan to bed, Toby sat down on the couch next to CJ.

"Are you tired?" He asked.

"A little bit."

"I guess you shouldn't have taken forever in the mall." Toby laughed.

"I didn't take forever." CJ protested.

"Yes you did." Toby said. "Did I tell you how beautiful that dress looked on you?"

"No, you didn't. And I know what you are trying to do."

"And what am I trying to do?"

"You thought I was getting upset. So you changed the subject." CJ said and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah I guess I did." Toby said and turned her face toward him. "I love you." Toby said and then kissed her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ walked into the hotel room in Boston to lay down for a few minutes. It had been a long tiring day, and there was still the fund raiser to come. When Toby came into the room twenty minutes later, he found CJ asleep. He decided to let her sleep and started to get ready for the fundraiser. CJ woke up a little while later, and looked for Toby.

"Do you need some help with your tie?" CJ asked when she found him.

"Yeah."

CJ stepped closer to Toby and started to tie his tie. When he pulled her into his arms, she laughed a little bit

"You just said that so you could hold me for a moment." CJ said.

"Yeah." Toby said and kissed her.

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just tell me you wanted to hold me?" CJ asked between kisses.

"It wouldn't have been as much fun."

"Okay." CJ laughed and kissed him.

"How are you feeling?" Toby asked.

"I'm fine."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes. I was just tired."

"Okay. Did you notice what I had left for you out there?"

"No, you bought me something?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"I guess I should take you out there and show you?"

"You should."

"Okay."

Toby led CJ back into the main room of the suite. There was a bunch of artificial blue roses on the table.

"I couldn't fine any real blue flowers." Toby said.

"That's fine." CJ said turning in his arms until she was facing him. "You can be a very thoughtful person."

"That is one of those things you shouldn't tell anyone else." Toby said running his fingers through her hair.

"I love you." CJ said and kissed him

" Love you too." Toby said and kissed her back. "You really should get ready for the fundraiser."

"I know." CJ said and kissed him again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you get to talk to Meghan?" CJ asked Toby after the fundraiser.

"Yeah, she's fine. Mrs. Bartlet said she has been good. Do you want me to do that?" Toby asked as he watched CJ dry her hair with a towel.

"Yeah, would you?" CJ said sitting down on the bed beside him.

After he had finished, Toby moved CJ until they were sitting against the headboard of the bed.

"You are being very sweet tonight, you know." CJ said.

"I have an ulterior motive." Toby said kissing the top of her head.

"Which would be?" CJ murmured against his shoulder.

"I want you to tell me what is bothering you."

"What makes you think there is something bothering me?"

"The way you have been acting lately. So what is it?"

"Nothing."

"I don't believe that."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"CJ..."

"Do you really want to know what it is?

"Yes."

"I'm scared." CJ whispered, sitting up so she was looking at Toby. "It's getting so close to the point where I started having problems when I was pregnant with Meghan. I'm afraid of that happening again."

"You are so much stronger this time than you were then. It's not going to happen."

"As much as you want to you can't guarantee that."

"I know that, but if something happens we will handle that when it happens."

"Yeah."

"We will CJ. What ever happens we will face it together." Toby said.

"I know." CJ said tightening her arms around him. She laid her head against his chest and smiled to herself when she felt him start to stroke her hair.

to be continued...

  


	8. Second Chances 8

See part 1 for disclaimer

 

Toby walked over to CJ as she came out of Dr. Phillips's office. As they were walking out of the office, he slipped an arm around her waist.

"What did he say?"

"That I was fine. Right now there are no indications of any heart problems."

"See I told you that you were fine." Toby said.

"Toby, I still have five months to go." CJ said.

"I know." Toby said. By that time they had reached the car and he opened the passenger door for CJ. "It's going to be fine."

"If you keep saying that I might believe it." CJ said and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Believe it." Toby whispered in her ear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Daddy." Meghan called as she walked into the living room

"Yes." Toby said.

"You read to me." Meghan said holding the book out to him.

Toby picked Meghan up and sat her in his lap a few minutes later and started to read the book to her. A few minutes later, CJ walked into the room. She sat down next to them on the couch.

When Toby finished reading the book, Meghan sat down in between her parents.

"Mommy?" Meghan asked.

"What sweetheart?" CJ asked.

"That the baby?" Meghan asked laying her hand against CJ's stomach.

"Yes." CJ replied.

"Mommy and I found out if the baby is a boy or a girl a few days ago." Toby said.

"What is it?" Meghan asked.

"A boy." CJ replied. "In a few months you are going to have a little brother."

"But I don't want a brother." Meghan pouted.

"You don't?" Toby asked trying not to laugh.

"No, I want a sister, just like me." Meghan said.

"You want a sister?" CJ asked.

"Yes!"

"I'm afraid you're going to have a brother." Toby said.

"Okay." Meghan said and got down from the couch. She went over to the other side of the room to play with her toys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She was very funny today." Toby remarked to CJ later that night.

"Yeah she was." CJ laughed looking at Toby through the mirror she was sitting at.

Toby stood behind where she was sitting brushing her hair. "Here let me do that." "You don't have to do that." CJ said as he started to brush her hair.

"I know. But I want to."

"Okay, so do you plan to do all of these little things after the baby is born?"

"I might." Toby said putting the brush down. He then moved CJ's hair back and kissed her neck.

"You know you could do that all night. I won't complain." CJ said.

"Really?" Toby asked as he pulled CJ up from the bench.

"Yeah." CJ said and put her arms around him. "What are you waiting on?"

"What?"

"Aren't you planning to kiss me."

"Yes." Toby said drawing her closer to him.

"Then why aren't you kissing me?"

"Because you won't be quiet long enough for me to." Toby said, and to keep her from replying to that he kissed her.

"That's better." CJ said.

"CJ."

"Yeah."

"Shut up." Toby said and then kissed her again.

"That's all you had to do to get me to be quiet."

"I'll have to remember that when you are arguing with me at work."

"Toby!"

"Well I will, I've often wanted to kiss you when you have been arguing with me in your office."

"Just to shut me up?" CJ asked.

"No, I happen to like to kiss you."

"I'm not seeing any evidence of that."

"That's because you won't shut up and let me kiss you."

"I'm tired of waiting." CJ said and kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby woke up when he felt CJ get back into the bed. He put his arms around her and pulled her against him.

"I didn't mean to wake you." CJ whispered

"It's okay. Are you all right?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I checked on Meghan while I was up."

"Is she asleep?"

"Yeah, she's fine."

"Good." Toby replied.

"Of course you are hoping her mother will go back to sleep?"

"Yes."

"Maybe I will." CJ said snuggling closer to him.

"You should." Toby said Kissing the top of her head.

"I should?"

"Yeah."

"I'll try." CJ said.

"You should go to sleep." Toby said placing his hand against her stomach.

"You do that a lot when I'm pregnant."

"What tell you to go to sleep?" Toby laughed as he rubbed her stomach.

"No, you touch my stomach a lot." CJ said moving closer to him.

"It is an amazing feeling."

"What is?"

"Touching you, knowing that my child is inside you."

"You are being very sweet again. If you are not careful you are going to make me cry."

"I seem to be good at doing that when you are pregnant." Toby laughed.

"Yeah you are."

"I love you." Toby said and gently kissed her.

"Love you too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ had been very surprised when Toby had let her go shopping by herself. Of course he knew it was the holiday season, and she probably had presents she wanted to buy. They had already shopped for Meghan. CJ couldn't wait to see her open her presents. She had been trying for months to come up with something to give Toby. Then finally CJ had figured out something to get him. She was on her way to the store to pick it up. She quickly picked up the present, and on the way out of the mall she saw an outfit in the window that she liked.

Toby looked up when the door opened. He quickly got up to see if CJ needed any help.

"Do you need any help with anything?" Toby asked when he met her at the door.

"No, this is all I have." CJ said indicating the garmet bag and the small package she carried.

"So what is in the bags?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" CJ teased.

"Yes."

"Sorry I can't tell you."

"Okay."

"You really are not being any fun over this." CJ said.

"Good."

"Well, you really are not." CJ said when she came back into the living room after putting the packages up.

"Sorry to disappoint you." Toby said.

"You didn't."

"Are you tired?" Toby asked as CJ moved to lay against him.

"A little."

"You shouldn't have walked all over the mall then." Toby laughed.

"I did not walk all over the mall. I only went to two stores. I picked something up and, then I saw something I liked in one of the stores I was passing. So I bought it."

"What?"

"Something to wear to the Christmas party."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"I don't know." CJ laughed.

"Me either."

"I know you too well?"

"Probably." CJ laughed.

"Why don't you go to sleep?"

"Why?"

"I can tell you are sleepy."

"Yeah. I guess I could go lay down. Are you coming with me?"

"If that's what you want." Toby said as he tilted her face up and kissed her.

to be continued...

  


	9. Second Chances 9

See part 1 for disclaimer

 

It had started to snow early that morning. From the look of things, Washington would have a white Christmas that year.

"You're going to wait and let me help you out of the car?" Toby asked as he parked the car.

Although, CJ knew it was not really a question, she answered, "Yes."

"Good." Toby replied. He got out of the car and came over to her side of the car to help her out. "Be careful." He said as he helped her out of the car.

"Toby, have you ever seen me fall on ice?" CJ asked as they walked into the White House.

"No, but I don't think now would be a good time to start."

"Okay." CJ said. She leaned over to kiss his cheek, but he moved and she ended up kissing his lips.

"Don't you think you should find some mistletoe before you start doing that?" Josh said.

"Josh!" CJ cried.

"Hey I was just joking." Josh said.

"Good." CJ replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That evening after putting Meghan to bed, Toby found CJ standing staring out the window watching it snow.

"You love watching it snow, don't you?" Toby asked as he slipped his arms around her waist.

"Yeah I do. I hardly saw any snow in California when I was growing up." CJ replied as she covered his hands with hers.

"I guess you didn't."

"Meghan's going to want to play outside tomorrow."

"Yes I know that."

"You are planning to take her outside tomorrow?"

"Yes, I'll take her."

"Good that should be interesting."

"Why?"

"You outside in the snow with Meghan. Hmm...I wonder what she will do?"

"You're not going to suggest that she throw snowballs at me or something?"

"Who says I'll have to suggest it. I'm certain she'll do it on her own."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ couldn't help but laugh as she was watching Toby and Meghan from the living room window. It seemed Meghan was having a very good time playing in the snow. CJ had been right when she had said Meghan would throw snowballs at Toby. She had quickly discovered that she could form the snow into a ball and throw the ball at her father. Of course very few of the snowballs had hit their target. As CJ watched she noticed that they were coming in.

When they came back into the apartment, Meghan went running to CJ. "Did you have a good time outside with Daddy?" CJ asked.

"Yes, I threw snowballs at Daddy." Meghan said.

"I saw that."

"It was fun." Meghan said.

"I bet it was." CJ replied. As she was holding her, Meghan's hands went to CJ's face.

"Gosh your hands are cold!" CJ cried.

Meghan just giggled, and it was then that CJ noticed that Meghan was no longer wearing her mittens. "What did you do with your mittens?" CJ asked.

"She told me outside that *you* had told her how to make a snowball, and that she should throw them at me." Toby said. "So we decided that you should have some fun today too."

"Oh, I was having fun." CJ replied.

"Watching her throw snowballs at me?"

"Well you have to admit that was very amusing."

"It wasn't if you were on the receiving end." Toby said drily. "So we decided you should be cold to. I let Meghan play without her mittens for the last couple of minutes she was outside.

CJ just looked at Toby and shook her head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So you are speaking to me again." Toby said when CJ sat down on the couch beside him later that night.

"What made you think I wasn't speaking to you?" CJ asked.

"I don't know, maybe, that you haven't said ten words to me since Meghan and I came back in today."

"I haven't, have I?"

"No."

"I'm not mad at you."

"Well you certainly gave a good impression of it until now." Toby said.

"I'm really not mad." CJ said as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"That's good."

"He's just as active as Meghan was at this stage." CJ said as she laid her hand against her stomach.

"So he's kicking you a lot?"

"He's starting to."

"So both of our children should probably grow up to be soccer players."

"I can't believe you remembered that remark." CJ said.

"I clearly remember the quizzical way you stared at Meghan's feet when she was born."

"Yeah I did."

"I'm wondering if you will do that this time?"

"Probably."

"I've been thinking that we need to start thinking about a name." Toby said.

"Yeah, we probably should. Did you have anything in mind?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

"Isaac as the middle name, after my father."

"I like that idea." CJ said softly.

"Then I guess that is what we will do." Toby said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I've never really understood your fascination with snow." Toby remarked to CJ, after he had picked her up from the Christmas Eve mass, she and Meghan had attended.

"We never really had snow where I grew up in California." CJ replied.

"And now you like the stuff?"

"Yeah I do."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just do." CJ replied.

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You do realize that she will probably be up at her normal time in the morning?" CJ said.

"Yeah."

"Which is six thirty."

"Yeah I realize that CJ." Toby replied.

"Then would you like some help putting that doll house together?"

"I'm doing fine with it."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"So that is the reason you have made almost no progress in an hour?"

"CJ!"

"Well you haven't."

"I'll get it finished. You should go to bed."

"Yeah, I'm going to." CJ replied. She bent and kissed the top of his head. "Night."

"Night."

"It's midnight now so you have six and a half hours to finish that." CJ laughed.

"Good night, CJ."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ moved closer to Toby when she felt him get into the bed later that night. "Did you finish it?" She whispered.

"Yeah."

"That's good."

"Yeah it is."

"What time is it?"

"Four."

"At least you will get a couple of hours of sleep."

"Yeah maybe."

"Are you saying I should shut up." CJ laughed.

"Sleep would be appreciated." Toby replied

"Okay." CJ replied and snuggled closer to him. After awhile they both fell asleep.

to be continued...


	10. Second Chances 10

See part 1 for disclaimer

 

"She is having fun with it." Toby said as he watched Meghan play with the doll house the next afternoon.

"Yeah she is." CJ replied. "It makes staying up last night worth it."

"It does make it worth it." Toby replied.

"It's great to watch her surprise when she opens everything." CJ said.

"Yeah, it is." Toby replied. "But it is also fun to watch you."

"So you say. Are you hinting that you have something to give me?"

"I do have something to give you."

"I'm positive that I have told you this before, but you buy me too many things." CJ laughed.

"No, I don't. You enjoy everything I buy you." Toby said.

"Yes, I do, and I'm noticing that I'm only hearing about this mysterious gift you have bought for me."

"You noticed that?"

"Yes I did."

"And what do you think I should do about that?"

"I think that perhaps you should give me the gift."

"I should?" Toby teased.

"Yes you should."

"I might do that." Toby said as he got up and walked out of the room. A few minutes later he came back in, carrying a small box wrapped in plain green paper.

"What is it?" CJ asked when he handed her the box.

"You'll have to open it to find out."

"I will?"

"Yes."

"You're not going to even give me one tiny hint?"

"No."

"Then I guess I'll just open it."

"That would be a good idea." Toby said as she opened the box.

"Jewelry." CJ said as she looked at the box.

"That is what it looks like."

"It's what it is." CJ said as she opened the box. Inside there was a small charm, which was just like the one Toby had bought before Meghan was born. "I assume this is his birthstone?"

"Yes."

"I love it." CJ said and kissed him. "Thank you." She murmured.

"Your welcome." Toby said and kissed her.

"I should go and get your present." CJ said and started to get up.

"You could do that." Toby said.

"But I think I'll wait." CJ said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You still haven't given me the present." Toby said to CJ later that night.

"I know that. I thought we agreed that we would exchange our gifts on New Years, since that holiday is religiously neutral."

"Yes we did, and I gave you a gift tonight."

"And I gave you one at Hanukkah."

"Are you saying that the tie should satisfy me until New Years?"

"Yes." CJ said sweetly.

"And if it doesn’t?"

"That’s just too bad. You have to wait."

"And if I don’t want to?" Toby asked.

"You really are worse than Meghan. It’s only a week."

Toby just laughed and pulled CJ into his arms. He then begun to gently kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you too." CJ said just before he begun to kiss her again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By New Years Eve it had stopped snowing, and most of the snow from Christmas had melted. Toby had spent much of the week searching the apartment for the gift that he and CJ had spoken about. He had been unable to find it.

CJ looked up when she heard Toby come into her office. "Are you coming in here to search for the gift?"

"It is the only place you could have it."

"Really?"

"I've looked every place else."

"You have?"

"You know I have. You have teased me relentlessly each time I didn't find it."

"I did do that, didn't I?" CJ said sweetly.

"Yes you did. I am going to get you back for that."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"You could leave so I can search in here." Toby said after a moment.

"It's not in the office."

"It's not?"

"No, actually, it is in something that I know you won't get into."

Toby thought for a moment, and then he noticed what CJ was staring at, her purse. "It's in your purse. And what makes you think I won't look in there?"

"I know you, and you can see what it is tonight."

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you ready to go home?" Toby asked CJ later that day. Since it was New Years Eve, they were working only a half day.

"Yeah, I guess so." CJ said as she got up.

"You know what I think?" Toby said as he helped CJ with her coat.

"No, I don't."

"That it would be a nice gesture if you gave me the present as we get home."

"You really think that would be a good idea?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you know what I think about it?"

"No."

"First you are much worse than Meghan. We said that we would celebrate after Meghan goes to bed tonight, right?"

"Yes, we did."

"You'll get the present then." CJ replied.

"There's nothing I could do to persuade you?" Toby asked.

"Nothing at all."

"You know that I am going to try to persuade you?"

"Oh, yes I know you will try. But I also know that you will not be having any success. I do hope that you will have fun trying." CJ said, and then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Before she could move away, Toby slipped his arms around her. "Oh, I intend to have fun trying to persuade you." He whispered in her ear.

to be continued...


	11. Second Chances 11

See part 1 for disclaimer

 

Meghan had fallen asleep in the car before they even got home. Toby carried her to her room, and laid her on the bed.

"She really looks angelic when she is sleeping. " CJ remarked from the doorway.

"Yeah she does. You know most of the mischievous things she does, we put her up to them."

"Yeah I know. I still think she would do most of those things anyway." CJ said.

"You do?" Toby asked as he left the room

"Yeah."

"You know she is taking a nap. So you could give me that present now?"

"Let me think for a minute...umm...no."

"Then I guess I will have to persuade you." Toby said as they walked into their bedroom.

"You will have to *try* to persuade me." CJ said.

"Oh, I intend to succeed." Toby said as he sat down on the bed.

"I intend that you won't succeed though." CJ said just before Toby started to kiss her.

Toby kissed her passionately for a few minutes. "So this is not persuading you?" Toby asked as he ended the kiss.

"Not in the least. But you can keep trying. I am enjoying your efforts." CJ said.

"So that wasn't persuasive?" Toby asked as he started to kiss her neck.

"No." CJ said as she tilted her head back a little bit.

"What about this?" He said as he continued to kiss her neck.

"No."

"Maybe I should try something else?"

"You could, but it probably wouldn't work." CJ said

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Meghan woke up from her afternoon nap, CJ and Toby spent the rest of the day playing with her.

"So Meghan has gone to bed." CJ remarked a couple of minutes after they had put Meghan to bed.

"Yes."

"And you are thinking I should give you the present now."

"That would be a nice thing of you to do." Toby said.

"Yes, it would." CJ said and then she walked over to her purse and took out a small box. She then walked over to Toby and gave it to him.

"Looks like both of us have been frequenting jewelry stores lately." Toby said as he looked at the box.

"Yeah and aren’t you going to open that?"

"I thought I might wait a few minutes."

"You aggravate the hell out of me for a week over this, and now you say that you are going to wait???"

"Yes." Toby laughed.

"I don’t believe this." CJ said.

"I’m just joking."

"You better be."

"I am. " Toby said as he started to open the present.

"Good." CJ laughed.

Toby opened the box, and found a small jewelry box. "I’m surprised that we didn’t run into each other at the jewelry store."

"Are you saying you bought me jewelry also?"

"Maybe." Toby said as he opened the box and looked inside. He found a diamond cluster ring. "Thank you." He said softly and leaned over and kissed her.

"You haven’t looked on the inside of it." CJ replied.

Toby took the ring from the box and looked at what was written on the inside of the ring. "I love it." Toby whispered after reading the inscription, which read August 31, 2002, (the date of their wedding), ----- I love you forever.

"I couldn’t think of anything flowery that day." CJ said.

"That’s okay." Toby said and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Maybe I should give you your gift now." Toby said.

"You could, but the difference between you and me is that I can wait quite a long time to open mine. I have a little more patience than you do."

"Then I think I will wait."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they were dancing to some soft instrumental, CJ laid her head against Toby’s shoulder.

"This is a very pleasant way to spend New Years." Toby remarked.

"Yeah it is. We should do this every year."

"What just stay home?"

"Yeah, and have our own private New Year’s celebration." CJ said.

"Then that is what we will do from now on." Toby said and then reached into his pocket and took out his present for her.

"I was wondering when you would get around to giving me that." CJ laughed.

"You should open it."

"I should?"

"Yes you should."

"Okay." CJ said as she opened it. Inside she found a diamond wedding band.

"I know I should have bought that for our anniversary, but the thought didn’t cross my mind then. I saw it in the store, and I had to get it for you." Toby said as he slipped the ring on her finger.

"That’s okay. I love it." CJ said and kissed him. "It’s almost midnight." She remarked after a little bit.

"Yeah."

"I believe it is traditional to kiss the person you are with at the stroke of midnight."

"Then it is a good thing that I am with my wife." Toby laughed.

"And I good thing I am with my husband." CJ said just as the clock started to chime midnight.

"I love you." Toby said and then kissed her.

"I love you too." CJ said. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, to both of you." Toby said as he placed his hand against her stomach.

to be continued...


	12. Second Chances 12

See part 1 for disclaimer

 

January went by quickly. As the weeks went by, both Toby and CJ became less worried about her having heart problems this time. Everything seemed to be going well with the pregnancy, and they both were relieved.

It was nearly six o’clock in the evening when Toby walked into CJ’s office with Meghan.

"What are those, Mommy?" Meghan asked pointing to the flowers on CJ’s desk.

"Roses." CJ replied.

"Why?"

"Daddy got them for me."

"Why?" Meghan asked.

"Because he loves me."

"For Valentine’s Day?" Meghan asked.

"Yes, for Valentine’s Day."

"I made this for you, today." Meghan said handing CJ a card she had made at day care that day.

"Thank you sweetheart." CJ said as she looked at the card. "I love it."

"Daddy liked his too." Meghan giggled.

"He did?" CJ asked.

"Yes." Meghan replied.

"I think Mommy is ready to go home." Toby said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No, Daddy has already read you three stories. That’s enough." CJ said to Meghan as she and Toby were putting their daughter to bed.

"I think we have to listen to Mommy." Toby said and tucked Meghan in. "Good night, sweetheart. I love you." Toby said and kissed Meghan.

CJ then walked over to kiss Meghan good night. Then she and Toby left the room.

As they were walking down the hallway, Toby noticed CJ place her hands on the small of her back. "Is your back hurting?" He asked.

"Yeah a little bit." CJ replied.

"Come here." Toby said. After CJ sat down he started to massage her back. "Is that better?" He asked after a minute.

"Much better." CJ said.

"Good." Toby said and kissed her cheek. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No, not really." CJ replied. "So what did you get me?" CJ whispered after a moment.

"Now who is being impatient?"

"The difference is I’ll admit to being impatient while you don’t."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really."

"You think I got you something?"

"Well, I know you got me something other than those flowers. Although they are very beautiful and I love them. You got me something else."

"You’re very certain about that."

"I know you too well."

"Maybe you are wrong this time." Toby said.

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"Okay." CJ said.

Toby watched CJ for a few minutes. He could tell that she actually believed him. It astonished him that she believed him. How could she think that he wouldn’t get her something for Valentine’s Day? He could tell that she was disappointed, but was trying hard to hide it. He almost laughed, but was able to stop himself.

"You actually think that I didn’t buy you a gift?" Toby asked.

"You just said you didn’t." CJ replied.

"And you believe me?"

"Shouldn’t I?"

"No."

"So you did get me something?"

"Yes."

"And why haven’t you given it to me?"

"Just a minute." Toby said and got up and left the room. When he walked back into the room, he sat down next to CJ and handed her a small box.

"I bet they know you by name at the jewelry store." CJ laughed.

"What makes you think that is jewelry?" Toby laughed.

"It’s too small to be anything else." CJ said as she started to open it. "Well it has been awhile since you bought me a necklace." CJ laughed.

"Yeah it has." Toby said as he took the necklace from the box and placed it around her neck. "I love you."

"Love you too." CJ said and kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ started her maternity leave in early March. She and Toby had decided to send Meghan to daycare as usual. Everything had gone well with her pregnancy so far. Both she and Toby were relieved that things had gone well so far.

"Are you tired?" Toby asked CJ late one evening when she came into his home office.

"A little bit." CJ replied.

"You should go lay down." Toby said as he stroked her hair back from her face.

"You know what I really want?" CJ asked.

"What?"

"For this to be over with. Is that wrong of me?"

"No. It’s understandable. It’s only a couple of more weeks."

"Yeah I know." CJ said as she took Toby’s hand and placed it against her stomach.

"He’s kicking a lot tonight." Toby laughed.

"Yeah. I don’t remember it being this tiring with Meghan."

"You were in the hospital at this time with Meghan."

"Yeah I was."

"You should go lay down."

"Yeah I think I will."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Toby got into bed three hours later he found that CJ was asleep. He slipped his arms around her. She laid her head against him, and murmured something. Toby stroked her hair and spoke to her. After he noticed she was asleep, Toby fell asleep.

Toby woke up later when he felt CJ sit up in the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." CJ said softly.

"Then why are you trembling?" Toby asked as he touched her.

"I don’t know." CJ whispered.

"Was it a dream?"

"Yeah."

"A bad one?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don’t really remember it. I just know it was bad."

"Okay. Do you want to lay back down?"

"Yeah."

Toby laid back down, drawing CJ with him. She laid her head against his shoulder and moved as close to him as she could.

"It’s okay, CJ. It’s going to be okay." Toby whispered to her.

"Just hold me."

After awhile Toby could tell CJ had calmed down and had fallen back to sleep. He lay awake for a long time watching her. He knew that whatever she had dreamed had highly upset her. He hoped that it would not continue to upset her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Toby left the next morning, CJ walked into his office and took some paper out. She did remember what she had dreamed the night before, but she really didn’t want to tell Toby. She decided to write him to tell him. There were so many things she wanted him to know, just in case.


	13. Second Chances 13

See part 1 for disclaimer

 

After leaving Dr. Phillip’s office the next day, Toby needed to stop by the West Wing to pick up a few things. While he was there CJ decided to wait in her office. She turned the light on and sat down at her desk with a sigh. She had decided to leave the letter she had written to Toby in her desk. So she took it out of her purse and put it in her desk. Just as she finished doing that, Josh walked in.

"Hey, Claudia Jean."

"Hi, Josh."

"Hey you okay?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"You don’t sound well."

"I’m fine."

"No, you are not."

"Yes, I am."

"What’s wrong?"

"I had a dream a couple of nights ago."

"Okay."

"A nightmare really."

"And it’s upset you?"

"Yeah."

"What was it about?" Josh asked.

"I dreamed that I didn’t survive having the baby." CJ admitted.

"You can’t think the dream is going to come true?"

"What if it does?"

"It’s not going to."

"Josh..."

"It’s not. You’re going to be fine. You’re going to watch Meghan and the baby grow up. And you and Toby are going to grow old together. You’re going to be fine. Nothing is going to happen."

"What if it does?"

"It won’t."

"Josh, will you do me a favor, just in case?"

"What?"

"I put a letter in my desk for Toby. If something happens to me, will you see that Toby gets it?"

"Yeah, but I’m not going to have to give it to him. Does he know about any of this?"

"No, and I’d prefer it if he doesn’t know. I don’t want to worry him."

"And you think he isn’t already worried? If I’ve noticed this I can guarantee that he has."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ was hospitalized the day before Dr.Santos planned to do a C-section to deliver the baby. Toby came into the room just after CJ was settled in. He sat down on the bed next to her.

"It’s just a few more hours." Toby said.

"Yeah." CJ replied.

"Are you still anxious."

"Yeah I guess so."

"I should let you sleep."

"Yeah you should."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are Josh or Sam coming?" CJ asked Toby the next morning.

"After it’s over. Dr. Santos is letting me into the OR this time." Toby replied.

"You’re going to me in there?"

"Yes, does that bother you?"

"No."

"Good. I’ll be there holding your hand the whole time."

"Okay." CJ laughed. "Toby?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Toby said and gently kissed her.  "Just a couple of more hours."

"Yeah."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Toby talked quietly to CJ as they started the local anesthetic they were using for the procedure.

"It feels strange to me awake for this." CJ said.

"I’d say it does."

"We’re going to see him soon."

"Yeah we are." We’re still agreed on the name?"

"Yeah we are." CJ said.

"Okay."

A couple of minutes later, Dr. Santos begun the procedure. Toby held CJ’s hand the entire time. CJ was looking directly at Toby when they heard the baby cry for the first time.

"It sounds like he is fine." CJ said.

"Yeah it does." Toby said.

"He is fine." Dr. Santos said. "We’ll let you see him in a minute."

"Okay." CJ said.

A couple of minutes later, a nurse brought the baby to CJ and Toby.

"He looks like you." CJ said softly.

"Because he has very little hair?"

"Yeah."

"Toby." Dr. Santos said. "I’m going to need you to leave."

"Why?" CJ asked.

"I don’t want either of you to panic, but we’re having trouble stopping the bleeding. It’s going to be fine though."

As Toby got up to leave he kissed CJ’s forehead. "I love you. See you in a few minutes."

"I love you too." CJ said almost choking on the tears she was trying not to shed.

After Toby left, CJ was placed under a general anesthetic.

"Oh, damn it! This is not happening." Dr. Santos said as CJ flat lined.

  


to be continued...


	14. Second Chances 14

see part 1 for disclaimer

Author's Note: Since I do not have a medical degree, I would like to apologize for anything medically related that may be incorrect.

 

Toby was looking in the nursery window at his son when Josh and Sam arrived at the hospital.

"Which one is he?" Sam asked.

"The one in the middle." Toby replied.

"He looks just like you." Josh joked. "Very little hair."

"CJ said the same thing." Toby said.

"Are they getting her settled back in the room?" Josh asked.

"No, there were some complications so they sent me out." Toby said.

"What kind of complications?" Sam asked.

"She was hemorrhaging, and they were having trouble stopping the bleeding."

"How long ago was that?" Josh asked.

"An hour ago." Toby replied.

"She’s going to be fine." Sam said.

"Yeah." Toby said.

Josh glanced down the corridor and saw Dr. Santos walking towards them. From the look on her face he wondered if it would be good news.

"Toby." Dr. Santos said. "Why don’t we sit down over here and talk."

"I’m fine. Is CJ in recovery?" Toby asked.

"Yes she is in recovery. I’m afraid that I had to do a hysterectomy to stop the bleeding."

"I see. She’s going to be all right though?" Toby asked.

"Yeah, I think she will be." Dr. Santos replied.

"You think?" Toby asked.

"We came very close to losing her. At one point she flat lined."

"What?"

"She’s fine. We were able to get her back very quickly. I’ll have someone notify you when she is brought back to the room." Dr. Santos said.

"Thank you. She will be okay?"

"I believe she will be." Dr. Santos said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ was still asleep when they brought her back to her room from recovery. Toby stood at the door watching her for awhile. He was just starting to realize how close he had came to losing her. He sat down beside her and smoothed her hair back from her forehead.

"You have to wake up soon. I’d really like to see you wake up and just smile at me. That’s all I want, just a smile. It’s not too much to ask is it?" Toby reached for her hand and held it tightly in his. "He’s just fine. They said that he weighed 9 lbs and I’ve forgotten how many ounces. Jonathan is just fine. But I think he would really like to meet his mommy."

Toby was still sitting at CJ’s bedside three hours later when he saw her move her head slightly. "CJ." He whispered as he saw her open her eyes.

"Toby." She said weakly. "The baby?"

"He’s fine. How much do you remember?"

"I think I remember seeing him, and after that I don’t remember anything."

"You started to hemorrhage. They had to do surgery to stop the bleeding. I’m certain Dr. Santos will tell you more about it later."

"Okay. I want to see the baby."

"I’ll see if they can bring him in." Toby said. He kissed her and then left the room.

When he came back in ten minutes later, Toby saw that CJ had fallen asleep again. She was still asleep when the nurse brought Jonathan into the room ten minutes later.

"Your mommy really does want to see you." Toby said as he held his son for the first time. "But she’s really sleepy right now. She’ll see you later. I promise."

"Toby." CJ called softly.

"Hey, you’re awake again."

"Yeah, let me hold him."

"Okay." Toby said as CJ started to sit up. He then reached the baby to her.

"He really does look like you." CJ said.

"You think so?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Are we still planning to name him Jonathan Isaac?" CJ asked.

"I hope so because I’ve been calling him Jonathan for hours."

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How’s Meghan?" CJ asked when she woke up in the middle of the night.

"She’s fine. I spoke with her just before she went to bed."

"Does she understand everything?" CJ asked.

"Yeah, I’m going to bring her to meet her brother tomorrow."

"She’s fine though?"

"Yes. She is."

"Toby why am I on a heart monitor? I know I hemorrhaged, but what else happened?"

Toby hesitated a moment before answering. "You lost a lot of blood."

"I know that, but there is something else."

"Yeah."

"And what is it?"

"You....CJ...you flat lined."

"What?"

"They were able to get your heart beating again very quickly, but you did flat line."

"This is unbelievable." CJ whispered.

"I know."

"No, you really don’t. There’s no way you could know." CJ said.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." CJ said as Toby sat down on the bed beside her.

"You’re certain?" Toby said as he started to stoke her hair.

"Yeah I’m certain."

"I love you Claudia Jean" Toby said.

CJ could hear the crack in Toby’s voice as he spoke. "I love you too. I’m going to be fine. You know that don’t you?"

"I know."


	15. Second Chances 15

see part 1 for disclaimer

 

Epilogue---------Six Weeks Later.

CJ didn't realize Toby was watching her as she was sitting in the nursery feeding Jonathan a bottle. In truth, he was more than a little worried about her. She had been very quiet since he had told her that she had almost died just after Jonathan was born.

"Here let me take him for a moment." Toby said stepping into the room.

"Okay." CJ said and handed Jonathan to Toby. She stood in the doorway watching them for a few minutes and then left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Toby put Jonathan to bed he checked in on Meghan who was sleeping peacefully. He tucked the covers around her, kissed her, and then went to find CJ.

He found her sitting in their bedroom staring at an envelope which she held in her hand.

"What is that?" Toby asked.

"I don't even know where to begin telling you this." CJ said.

"You could always start at the beginning."

"Yeah, do you remember the dream I had a couple of weeks before Jonathan was born?"

"Yeah."

"I told you I couldn't remember what I dreamt."

"Yeah, but you did remember?"

"I did."

"What did you dream?" Toby asked.

"That Jonathan's birth would kill me." CJ answered softly.

"You should have told me." Toby said as he took her into his arms.

"You wouldn't have been able to convince me that the dream was wrong. Josh tried to get me to tell you. I didn't want to worry you more than you already were."

"I wish you had. It would have been easier if I had known what was bothering you."

"Yeah."

"You went into the hospital thinking that you wouldn't come home didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"And that was the reason it surprised you that I would be with you when Jonathan was born?"

"Yeah, part of me was happy about that. But another part of me was very upset. If I died I didn't want you to see that happen."

"It didn't." Toby said.

"I know that."

"What is in the envelope?"

"A letter I wrote to you. I asked Josh to give it to you if something happened."

"Do you want me to read it now?"

"Yeah, I think so." CJ said handing him the letter. "I'll go while you read it."

"Okay." Toby said and he watched her walk out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby opened the envelope and pulled the four sheets of paper out of it. He opened them and stared at them for a moment before he started to read them.

Toby,

If you are reading this now, then my dream did come true. Yes, I did remember what that dream, or maybe it was a premonition was about. And I don't have to tell you what it was. I know the next few months are going to be hard on you. Please remember on thing, I love you. I wish it hadn't happened this way, but for some reason this is the way things were meant to be.

There are a few things you should know. Things that I probably have never told you. I love you. I know I've said that already. But it is very true. I love you. You are the love of my life, and I know that. I have so many good memories of us. And those are the things I want you to remember. Don't remember the end. Don't remember the bad times, just remember how much I loved you, and how happy we were. I don't think I've told you how happy you do make me. You have made me the happiest I have ever been. The last four years that we have been together have been the happiest of my life. You came into my life at a time when I wasn't looking for a relationship, and I will always be grateful for the love that you showed me.

The thing that saddens me the most is that I won't be there to watch our children grow up. I know that you will make certain that they know me, and how much I loved them. Don't let Meghan forget me, although I do think that she really is too young to remember me. Take care of Jonathan for me. I know you will, but I just had to say it.

Finally, Toby, I know that you will not forget me, and that what I'm getting ready to write will fall on deaf ears, but I have to say it. Find someone else when you are ready to. I want you to be happy.

I love you and don't ever forget it.

CJ.

It took Toby several minutes to read the entire letter. When he finished he dropped it onto the floor, and went to look for CJ. He found her staring out the living room window.

He walked up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. CJ leaned against him as soon as she felt him touch her.

"I wish you had told me this then." Toby said.

"I probably should have." CJ whispered.

"Why did you think the dream might come true?"

"It seemed so real. I don't know why I thought it would come true."

"It didn't."

"I know that." CJ laughed a little bit.

"Why did you write the letter?"

"I wanted you to know how I feel."

"I already knew that."

'I had to make sure you did know."

"You know that I could say the same things about you.?"

"You could?"

"I think you know that. And if you don't you should realize it now."

"I do realize it." CJ said turning until she was facing him.

"You know what I feel like right now?"

"What?"

"Like I'm getting my CJ back."

"You never really lost me."

"It seemed like it a few times in the last six weeks." Toby said.

"I'm sorry, I never meant for you to feel that way."

"You needed to deal with everything that has happened. I understood it."

"So you feel like you have *your* CJ back?" CJ laughed.

"Yeah I do."

"And what do you plan to do about that?"

"I don't know yet." Toby said. "You mean the world to me you know?"

"You mean the world to me too."

Toby smiled at her and started to run his fingers through her hair. "I love you." He said and kissed her.

The end.


End file.
